lovin’ me some…#8: take my Metformin every day

i think i lied when i said that cutting out weekday naps would be one of the hardest things on my list of 31 things. i think, for me, taking my Metformin every day is suuuuuuper challenging.

“what is metformin?” you ask? i think i’ll let the mayo clinic tell you.

Metformin is used to treat a type of diabetes mellitus (sugar diabetes) called type 2 diabetes. With this type of diabetes, insulin produced by the pancreas is not able to get sugar into the cells of the body where it can work properly. Using metformin alone, with a type of oral antidiabetic medicine called a sulfonylurea, or with insulin will help to lower blood sugar when it is too high and help restore the way you use food to make energy…Although this use is not included in product labeling, metformin is used in certain patients with the following medical conditions: Polycystic ovary syndrome.

#1: no, i don’t have diabetes.

#2: no, i’m not pre-diabetic.

#3: no, my blood sugar is not high. it is actually perfectly normal.

#4: i am insulin resistant because of my polycystic ovary syndrome.

insulin whaaaaa? polycystic who???? again, i’ll let the medical experts from the mayo clinic explain.

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. The name of the condition comes from the appearance of the ovaries in most, but not all, women with the disorder — enlarged and containing numerous small cysts located along the outer edge of each ovary (polycystic appearance). Infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods, excess hair growth, acne and obesity can all occur in women with polycystic ovary syndrome. Menstrual abnormality may signal the condition in adolescence, or PCOS may become apparent later following weight gain or difficulty becoming pregnant. The exact cause of polycystic ovary syndrome is unknown. Women with polycystic ovary syndrome may have trouble becoming pregnant due to infrequent or lack of ovulation. Early diagnosis and treatment of polycystic ovary syndrome can help reduce the risk of long-term complications, such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease and stroke…Many women with polycystic ovary syndrome are insulin resistant, which impairs the body’s ability to use insulin effectively to regulate blood sugar. This can result in high blood sugar and type 2 diabetes. Prediabetes is also called impaired glucose tolerance.

And from WebMD: What Is Insulin Resistance? Normally, food is absorbed into the bloodstream in the form of sugars such as glucose and other basic substances. The increase in sugar in the bloodstream signals the pancreas (an organ located behind the stomach) to increase the secretion of a hormone called insulin. This hormone attaches to cells, removing sugar from the bloodstream so that it can be used for energy. In insulin resistance, the body’s cells have a diminished ability to respond to the action of the insulin hormone. To compensate for the insulin resistance, the pancreas secretes more insulin. People with this syndrome have insulin resistance and high levels of insulin in the blood as a marker of the disease rather than a cause. Over time people with insulin resistance can develop high sugars or diabetes as the high insulin levels can no longer compensate for elevated sugar.

my endocrinologist best explained it to me as: “say insulin is a doorway. in most people, their doorways open and shut normally, letting the energy go in and out. your doorways are rusty. they don’t like to let the energy in or out, but when they do, it first attaches itself to fat cells. least likely to attach to? muscle.”

FML.

yes. my diagnoses are somewhat scary (especially the PCOS, and the chance of having problems getting pregnant should that day ever arrive). however, they’re not impossible to overcome. plenty of women with PCOS conceive…multiple times. and plenty of women who are insulin resistant are able to control their insulin levels, get the weight off and lead completely normal lives.

but that’s not to say it’s easy.

IT SUCKS.

i work out four times a week and don’t lose a pound. i join weight watchers and gain weight. i take my medicine and nothing changes (part of the reason it’s hard to take it day after day). metformin is extremely difficult on your body. not only is it hard on your liver (and forces you to avoid alcohol), it does a number on your gastrointestinal system. like whoa.

there is no cure for PCOS. to control it you have to lose weight. but it’s a catch 22: having PCOS makes it more difficult to lose weight.

it’s frustrating, it’s maddening, it’s heartbreaking, it’s discouraging. i wish there were more words to describe how i feel when i put in the work and see no results.

i’m trying to take it every day. i’m trying to make it part of my life. i’m trying to make it not about a number and more about how i feel.

but it’s hard. and it’s a daily battle.  not to be dark, but please encourage me as i continue on. somedays it doesn’t feel like i’ll ever scale this mountain.

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